Friday, January 27, 2012

Restroom Egocentrism

Egocentrism is defined by some as the inability to see the world outside of their-self.  So, I'd like to coin a new phrase... Restroom Egocentrism.

Hello, I'm Allison and I have restroom egocentrism.
"Hi, Allison."

It has happened to me more than a couple of times.  Here's how it happened today.

I don't know why exactly but eating out for supper on Friday nights is an unwritten rule in our house.  So, we had just entered Culvers.  The baby smelled food and immediately broke out into fits of starvation.  Buzzards were flying around his head.  Daniel took the kids and I took the diaper bag and headed to the restroom to fill his bottle with warm water.  The water bottle we kept in the car was ice cold and my sweet boy doesn't drink cold milk.  I was being a good mommy.

I turned the tap on and waited for what seemed forever for the water to heat.  Finally, warm water.  I filled it up to 6 oz.  Then bent down to be eye level with the counter... always after a precise measurement.  Out of the corner of my eye I see someone walk in.   I glance in the mirror to see who's behind me.  It's a kind man in a ball cap.  He's smiling.  So, of course I smile back and say hello.  I stand and reach for a paper towel to wipe off the excess water.  That's odd.  He's not coming in.  

Oh my gosh.  Finally a light bulb goes off.  There's a man in this bathroom.

Bless his heart.  He's probably humiliated.  

Odd that he's not leaving.  

I finish screwing the cap on the bottle and head for the door.... where the man in still standing.  
He steps to the side to reveal the universal "Men's Restroom" symbol on the door.

My mouth drops open.  "Oh my!!!  I am so so sorry."
He's still smiling.  "No, its fine.  I was just waiting for you to finish.... I was confused."
"I am so sorry.  I do this all of the time."  I try to explain but it only makes things worse.

If this was the first time this had happened, it wouldn't be a weird.  But I do this ALL the TIME.
I definitely have restroom egocentrism.  I mean I have two of the classic characteristics.
1.  I think what ever the first restroom door I see is the restroom that I need to be in.  Sign you say?  I don't need no stinking sign.
2.  I ALWAYS think it is someone elses mistake.  CASE & POINT:  I once walked into a bathroom and wondered why in the world they had put urinals in the female restroom.  Stood there for a while and then realized, OMG I'm in the men's restroom... Again.

Sigh... So that is todays confession.  I'm sure I'll have another run in with a men's bathroom in my near future.  

*Myth Busters:  While I have found that most of the time Men's restrooms are infact dirtier than females that is not true for Culvers.  That was one of the cleanest bathrooms I've been in.

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